Conservatives Today: 2020 Elections - Conservatives Nab 253 Seats in the House of Commons
BOBBY GE, Reporter LONDON - May 23rd, 2020
With the most recent election just over, the Conservatives were revealed to have taken 253 seats in the House of Commons, though the Labour Party nonetheless took the majority once more with 362 seats
“We all saw this coming, really,” remarked Labour Party Adviser Christopher Tennant. “Ever since Labour took over in 2015, the Conservatives haven’t stood much of a chance. They’re growing once more, but for the time being, I think the United Kingdom will be seeing a whole lot more of Miliband and less of whoever the Conservatives will have next.”
As per usual, the election produced a Twitter war.
“Labour members for the win and beyond! GOD SAVE THE KING #LabourWins” posted a fervent supporter.
“Conservatives have to shape up #2025Conservatives” Conservative editorialist David Eccleston tweeted.
Nevertheless, the Conservatives are relatively happy with their results.
“253 seats isn’t bad at all. Labour may have outdone us by 70 or so seats, but recovery is still possible,” newly elected MP of Wealden Alex Bobson commented, upbeat. “There are lots of promising members of Conservative Future, which all of you listening should join.”
“We should stand a chance next election season,” Head of the Opposition David Cameron noted. “Now may not be the best time to be a Conservative, but I am certain that with proper campaigning, we will be able to pose a substantial threat to the Labour Party,” Cameron finished with a slight nose twitch.
The current Shadow Cabinet for Cameron includes William Hague, George Osborne, Danny Alexander, Theresa May, Philip Hammond, Vince Cable, Iain Smith, Chris Grayling, Michael Gove, Eric Pickles, Jeremy Hunt, Owen Paterson, Alistair Carmichael, and David Jones.
The editors of the Conservatives Today would like to remind readers that, should anyone wish to become a member of parliament, all they need do is follow these steps:
1. Attend Oxford or Cambridge.
2. Join the Party.
3. Make intelligent, thoughtful contributions to society via protests, letters to your local newspaper, and charity drives.
4. Raise lots and lots of money, and make friends with the right people in the party, like Ministers, Advisers and/or newspaper editors.
5. Get an agent.
6. Sign up with the Notice of Election, and raise a successful campaign by making people listen to you.
7. Get elected at one of the U.K.'s many available constituencies.
8. Become a Member of Parliament for the Conservatives!
See? It's not so difficult. Join!
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From the editors-in-chief of Conservatives Daily, Bobby Ge and Alex Li